harmonizingly:

The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.

tresantes:

fruit salad 

*deep voice* yummy yummy

dggeoff:

huntedandrebelled:

dggeoff:

dggeoff:

my family got me a vibrating toothbrush that i can most definitely use to masturbate and finally get off gdi but the only problem here is that it’s got mike wasowskis face on it and i don’t know if im ready for that level of commitment

i did it. i did it and i hate myself.

image

OH MY FUCKING GOD

cast of spongebob dubs classic movies

schizophrana inquired: wait, are you now saying you dont like ANY starbursts???!!?

Starbursts are butt candies. they get stuck in my teeth and make my throat hurt. if I wanted that I would have sucked a dick.

traceexcalibur:

my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp

me: he is such a little shit he is literally a piece of trash i cant stand his face
friend: so you hate him?
me: no hes my favorite character

xv7:

y’all r gettin way too accurate with these it’s scaring me

imsoshive:

when you looking at your bank transactions like

image

"what the fuck did i spent $50 on at walmart?"

thankfulforanotherdawn:

like what…. lol

9pm: "I'm going to bed now."
10pm: "I'm going to bed now."
11pm: "I'm going to bed now."
12am: "I'm going to bed now."
1am: "I'm going to bed now."
2am: "I'm going to bed now."
3am: "FUCK."
4am: "FUCK."
5am: "OKAY."

kendrawcandraw:

Drake is my life coach